The Murderous Soul

I have given much thought this weekend to how people treat one another. Though we have had a rather difficult and painful week. I tried to be fair in my thinking and begin my consideration of this in my own life. Talk about painful. It is a very difficult thing to assess your words and deeds and realize the impact they have upon others. I look at the mistakes (and not even mistakes, but downright ignorant decisions) I have made and the long term effects they have had on my family. Hell itself cannot hold the pain of watching a child wander down a desolate path that they saw both of their parents chose at some point in their lives. I think of how quickly my mouth runs ahead of my brain, and the pain and sting that my words may often cause. Then I look around me. I am amazed at how we as a whole spend the majority of our time tearing someone else down. How quick we are to judge and assess the lives of others when not one of us have our lives in perfect order. I have really been praying to be more aware of doing this and maybe God is answering that prayer, because I sicken myself at times. My prayer continues that God would help me keep my mouth shut and my heart open. I really want to find the ability to love people as they are and find good even in the blackest soul. I have been praying today for my enemies, (even though I honestly would rather cause them the pain they have caused my family). But what power is there in letting the hate and pain continue. If only God would remove it and let me learn to love. But how do you love the person (or people) who are hurting the ones you love? I am so glad God is not like me. I am glad He loves us all the same. Maybe this realization of the piousness I carry will help me be more tolerant toward the church as a whole. I have seen so many people burned by the religious system, but maybe I am no different. Actually I know I am no different, because there are people out there I would (and sometimes do ) treat the same way. Why does it seem though that everyone who has caused a major root of bitterness and the deepest pain in our lives come from that "Christian" community? It scares me. One more example of how everyone is the same maybe. No matter what religion, status, race, creed, age, or education, all people are capable of the same selfish behaviour. Maybe everyone carries a piece of this murderous soul.