Ok, so maybe I should call this my health journey, because the changes I have made in my life over the last 5 weeks are to encompass so much more than just loosing weight. But weight is what started this change. I saw a photo of myself one day and I thought, OH GOD, how did I get here? It wasn't that my husband was dissatisfied with me, or I felt like I needed to be more acceptable to others. It was that I was disgusted with myself for taking such poor care of my body, and I wanted to be more acceptable to ME. I think had I started this lifestyle change for any other reason, I would not have been able to come so far. And thankfully it was something my husband was interested in doing as well, so it has made our meal planning so much easier when we are all on board.
Now 5 weeks in I am noticing changes not only in my body, but in myself that I really wasn't expecting. I feel so much better. I can't say every morning at 5 AM I am jumping up and down excited to be heading for the gym, but I can say I have never regretted going not one single day once my workout is complete. I have so much more energy and focus when I start the day with a full workout. I feel my body getting stronger. I could not even run a full 2 minutes when I started this journey without feeling like my chest was going to explode. Yesterday I ran 1.65 miles. My longest distance yet. I have started to notice a decrease in cellulite and definite change in my muscles. I still have light years of change I want to see, but every small triumph makes it so worth my while. I see a definite change in my face, and I feel like I look younger due to that! It has definitely made me feel better about myself. I don't feel the need to run and put on my makeup every morning, and am feeling more comfortable in my own skin.
I guess for me, I am very much an introspective type of person. Every choice, every change I need to understand my reasoning and ponder both the positive and negative effects on my life. For me, the change in my body has also started a change in my mind. I never really thought I could do this. It is hard. It takes commitment, and the ability to press on when my body is screaming for an hour more of sleep or that piece of cornbread! I have had to push myself and deny myself in ways that I haven't done in a very long time. Making a marked change in my body has inspired me even more to outline the changes I want to make in my spiritual life. I have become more thoughtful about what that really means to me, and who I want to be. It is strange that this part of my spiritual journey has pulled me closer into a more personal road, than a well defined "church walk". I feel like if I am capable of change and denial in my body, I am capable of the same things in my mind and spirit and want to walk on a higher plane.
Not only has my changes started me thinking about more depth in my life, it has changed how I look at myself, and how I feel I need to respond to those around me. I am strong. I am able. I am more confident. I do not need to please you. I do not need to go above and beyond my own comfort zone in trying to find acceptance. I am learning self love and that really cuts down on my need for social acceptance. I want to keep my circle small and intimate. I have also felt the positive effects of this journey in my marriage. The fact that Jake and I are doing this together has been another great journey in our lives. He has been a wonderful support, and while I am able to keep us on track nutritionally, he has been one hell of a trainer, and I so enjoy spending time with him KILLING me a the gym. The weight loss on both sides have really kicked things up a notch in the bedroom as well. Another great result of this hard work that I was not anticipating.
So, if you want to make a change. You want to be healthy, feel better, and shed some of those unneeded pounds, do it for YOU. And you can do it! If you need support, I am here. I would love to share this journey with others who thought it to be as impossible as I once did!
